RULES FOR DOGS WHO HAVE A HOUSE TO RUN

1. If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you
can't manage that in time, get to an oriental rug
(or any good rug will do).

2. Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not
necessary to do anything, just sit and stare.

3. Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door
opened,stand on your hind legs, and hammer with
your forepaws.

4. When supervising cooking, stand behind the left foot of
the cook, where you will be stepped on, picked up, and
consoled with food.

5. When a door is opened, use it. When you've ordered
an outside door opened, it is important to stand halfway
out and think about several things. It is especially important
during cold weather, rain,snow, or the mosquito season.

6. Begin people training early. Humans need to know the
basic rules.
They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.